35% in Relationships Still Use Dating Apps

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Most people have good intentions when committing to a partner, but due to human nature and various excuses, a huge percentage of the world’s population doesn’t seem capable of (or interested in, based on their actions) life-long, strict monogamy.

In a new study of 2,100 people, the law firm Slater and Gordon in the UK found 21% of the women and 46% of the men surveyed admitted to using a dating app while in a relationship due to boredom, arguments, and fading sex lives.

74% would consider divorce if they discovered their partner using a dating app. However, one in five said they wouldn’t mind, and two-thirds of 16-24 year-olds said they’d forgive their partners.

How to avoid the cheating trap:

— Don’t assume strict monogamy without discussing it. Not everyone has the same idea of what a relationship should be like and it’s difficult to know what they’ll do if a partner changes or when they experience a crisis.

— Don’t assume every person you become involved with is the strictly-monogamous-for-life type, even if it’s what they claim to want. Most people want the ideal, fairy tale relationship that lasts “forever,” but for many, their actions repeatedly show it doesn’t suit their nature.

— Don’t assume every relationship is destined to be strictly monogamous for life, or even long-term.

— Refrain from judging non-monogamous relationships. They can work well for some couples, assuming they both choose it and agree upon specific rules (rather than a free-for-all or the result of a relationship that’s eroded and about to end).

— A huge part of the problem is that we’re all programmed to look for the perfect match, and believe too much in fairy tales. In reality, there’s no such thing as perfect, or one that is perfect for the rest of your life. Sometimes relationships come close and remain so, but this is not the norm.

— Realize that one person cannot possibly meet all your needs for the rest of your life. But communication and honesty, especially before committing, can make this easier to deal with.

The good news is that you can make the most of each relationship, but you must accept it as it is rather than what you or others around you want it to be. Some are meant to be long-term and stable. Some aren’t. Some are meant to be harmonious. Some aren’t. Some are meant to be rewarding. Others are karmic or full of tests.

Sometimes you are meant to be single, so trying to force a relationship to avoid being alone will almost always result in suffering.

Don’t be afraid to be single. Be selective, but not so much that you discount a good possibility because it’s not perfect. Pay attention to how you feel with the person, and care less about what they do or don’t have. Finally, make the most of yourself inside and out so your partner will feel less compelled to look elsewhere.

Copyright © 2017 Stephen Petullo

Posted in Dating, Fate and Free Will, Love, Marriage, Single

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